The 2007 'WTF?' Awards
by Ed Naha | Jan 1 2008
It's that time of year, boys and girls. A time when the voices in my head and I gaze back on the events of 2007, shout "WTF?" and give out awards accordingly. This past year was exceedingly challenging in that nearly every headline that included the name of any Republican politician earned WTF? kudos. So, keeping in mind the intense winnowing process, may I present the winners of the "2007 WTF? AWARDS."
The STUPE TO NUTS AWARD goes to our President, George W. Bush who, at a recent press conference, declared: "And so, you know, kind of Psychology 101 ain't working. It's just not working, you know?"
Couple that quote with the recent Associated Press headline "U.S. Pain-Killer Use Goes Through Roof - 5 Major Drugs Up 90% Over 8 Years" and you get into a sort of cause and effect kinda deal, you know?
Bush also receives the JULIA CHILDS ON ACID FOREIGN POLICY AWARD. After interviewer Jim Lehrer compared Iraq to a "broken egg," Bush said: "I don't quite view it as the broken egg. I view it as the cracked egg... where we still have a chance to move beyond the broken egg. And I thought long and hard about the decision, Jim. Obviously it's a big decision for this theater in the war on terror, and you know, if I didn't believe we could keep the egg from fully cracking, I wouldn't ask 21,000 kids - additional kids to go into Iraq to reinforce those troops that are there."
This is why family members don't allow Bush to cook breakfast. His depleted uranium omelets are to die for.
In the same Lehrer interview, Bush snagged the valued SHORT 'N' SWEET AWARD for his summation of war. "Look, death is terrible." You can tell he's been reading Camus.
Republicans who claim that the surge in Iraq is working get the PUT ON A HAPPY FACE AWARD. Here are two Associated Press headlines: "Army Suicide Rate Highest In 26 Years" and "2007 Deadliest for US Troops in Iraq." Blinders, anyone?
The NUANCE 'R' US AWARD goes to Dick Cheney. During a political interview, the Veep was asked if he had become more isolated. Cheney thought for a moment before stating: "I don't think so. I spend as much time as I can, get out and do other things -- at home in Wyoming, or yesterday I managed to go shopping with my daughter for a birthday present for granddaughters."
And, after a family game of Scrabble, he attempted to carpet-bomb Iran before dinner.
Donald Rumsfeld gets this year's prized BUBBLE BOY AWARD for stating that "I have not even attempted" to follow what's going on in Iraq because he's too busy "arranging my papers." Yeah, it's hard to make redacted paper airplanes at the home...[Open in new window]
by Ed Naha | Jan 1 2008
It's that time of year, boys and girls. A time when the voices in my head and I gaze back on the events of 2007, shout "WTF?" and give out awards accordingly. This past year was exceedingly challenging in that nearly every headline that included the name of any Republican politician earned WTF? kudos. So, keeping in mind the intense winnowing process, may I present the winners of the "2007 WTF? AWARDS."
The STUPE TO NUTS AWARD goes to our President, George W. Bush who, at a recent press conference, declared: "And so, you know, kind of Psychology 101 ain't working. It's just not working, you know?"
Couple that quote with the recent Associated Press headline "U.S. Pain-Killer Use Goes Through Roof - 5 Major Drugs Up 90% Over 8 Years" and you get into a sort of cause and effect kinda deal, you know?
Bush also receives the JULIA CHILDS ON ACID FOREIGN POLICY AWARD. After interviewer Jim Lehrer compared Iraq to a "broken egg," Bush said: "I don't quite view it as the broken egg. I view it as the cracked egg... where we still have a chance to move beyond the broken egg. And I thought long and hard about the decision, Jim. Obviously it's a big decision for this theater in the war on terror, and you know, if I didn't believe we could keep the egg from fully cracking, I wouldn't ask 21,000 kids - additional kids to go into Iraq to reinforce those troops that are there."
This is why family members don't allow Bush to cook breakfast. His depleted uranium omelets are to die for.
In the same Lehrer interview, Bush snagged the valued SHORT 'N' SWEET AWARD for his summation of war. "Look, death is terrible." You can tell he's been reading Camus.
Republicans who claim that the surge in Iraq is working get the PUT ON A HAPPY FACE AWARD. Here are two Associated Press headlines: "Army Suicide Rate Highest In 26 Years" and "2007 Deadliest for US Troops in Iraq." Blinders, anyone?
The NUANCE 'R' US AWARD goes to Dick Cheney. During a political interview, the Veep was asked if he had become more isolated. Cheney thought for a moment before stating: "I don't think so. I spend as much time as I can, get out and do other things -- at home in Wyoming, or yesterday I managed to go shopping with my daughter for a birthday present for granddaughters."
And, after a family game of Scrabble, he attempted to carpet-bomb Iran before dinner.
Donald Rumsfeld gets this year's prized BUBBLE BOY AWARD for stating that "I have not even attempted" to follow what's going on in Iraq because he's too busy "arranging my papers." Yeah, it's hard to make redacted paper airplanes at the home...[Open in new window]
posted by Dan at 2:51 PM
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