WILL DURST:"If I were a Journalist..."[Open in new window]
It's probably a good thing that I'm not a big time journalist. Back in the '70s, I attended college (state school) as a journalism/theater/film major, and since then, I've always kind of harbored a stealthy dream that I could have had a career in journalism.
FADE IN: Cut my teeth as a field reporter in an exotic locale like Bakersfield. Morph into one of those people who actually use the word "locale." Spend some time as a beat reporter covering electoral politics for a large Midwestern daily. Finally graduate to something prestigious like NPR correspondent to an important Cabinet Department. FADE OUT.
But I realize I was just deluding myself, because I undoubtedly would have lasted one day (tops) before I flipped out. Before I threw a monkey wrench at or into something. Before I dropped my little notebook or tape recorder and walked over and pimp-slapped somebody for continually lying to my face. For example: when asked to comment on Maher Arar, the Syrian-born Canadian whom our country kidnapped, sent to Syria as blindfolded baggage and then tortured for ten months, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said the matter was "not handled as it should have been." See, there's your problem, because if I had been the reporter who asked about this guy and got that as a response, I would have rejoined, "Are you fucking kidding me? The matter was not handled as it should have been? That's your fucking answer? A Canadian citizen was kidnapped, sent to another country and tortured? Exactly how do you think your answer would differ if an army of small brained aliens came to earth and focused on terrorizing people with large foreheads and abducted you and sent you to Jupiter and kept you awake for weeks at a time and made you feel like you were drowning in methane gas for almost a year? Do you think that your opinion would be that the matter was not handled as it should have been, you stupid fucking cow?"
And that's why it's probably a good thing that I'm not a big time journalist.
It's probably a good thing that I'm not a big time journalist. Back in the '70s, I attended college (state school) as a journalism/theater/film major, and since then, I've always kind of harbored a stealthy dream that I could have had a career in journalism.
FADE IN: Cut my teeth as a field reporter in an exotic locale like Bakersfield. Morph into one of those people who actually use the word "locale." Spend some time as a beat reporter covering electoral politics for a large Midwestern daily. Finally graduate to something prestigious like NPR correspondent to an important Cabinet Department. FADE OUT.
But I realize I was just deluding myself, because I undoubtedly would have lasted one day (tops) before I flipped out. Before I threw a monkey wrench at or into something. Before I dropped my little notebook or tape recorder and walked over and pimp-slapped somebody for continually lying to my face. For example: when asked to comment on Maher Arar, the Syrian-born Canadian whom our country kidnapped, sent to Syria as blindfolded baggage and then tortured for ten months, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said the matter was "not handled as it should have been." See, there's your problem, because if I had been the reporter who asked about this guy and got that as a response, I would have rejoined, "Are you fucking kidding me? The matter was not handled as it should have been? That's your fucking answer? A Canadian citizen was kidnapped, sent to another country and tortured? Exactly how do you think your answer would differ if an army of small brained aliens came to earth and focused on terrorizing people with large foreheads and abducted you and sent you to Jupiter and kept you awake for weeks at a time and made you feel like you were drowning in methane gas for almost a year? Do you think that your opinion would be that the matter was not handled as it should have been, you stupid fucking cow?"
And that's why it's probably a good thing that I'm not a big time journalist.
posted by Dan at 10:32 AM
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